Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Turtles and fishes

I used to dream a lot about fishes. Imagine a house full of swimming fishes, and I'm in it. Like an aquarium I supposed. Now I'm dreaming of turtles. Lots of turtles in a big shallow pond. I guess I'm old. Turtles do have long lives. Not sure that's a good thing or not, having to stay alive a very long time.

Most days are really stressful. People tell me I'm lucky having my mother live with me and they think we're both alike and great buddies. We are as different as oil and water and I hate that my mom likes to compare me with everybody and you'd think that I'm no longer an impressionable kid, I don't hurt anymore. It hurts. Makes me feel like I'm 6 years old again. Don't get me wrong. I love my mother and I'd never purposely say or do something to hurt her feelings, but everyday she makes me sad. It's so difficult to live with people who are never satisfied. It's so difficult to try and make my daughters not be affected by her complaints.

Over the years, I've learn how to hide my feelings. I guess that's why I suddenly had that dream.

So I run away to a place where I can hide and stop thinking.

I finished decorating my balcony:
The fish pond I bought from Funky Junk at the Culture Shock event. So are the planter and wall block at the corners. I don't know why the fishes are shy. That frog is really loud.
I also modified the apartment to fit in a kitchen. Not that my avie will ever use it, but somehow it looks more complete. No space for a dining table, but there is a 1L breakfast table for two out on the balcony which I bought from Bazar.