Today I want to write a post that is very personal to me. About bullies and their victims. I don't know why people bully others and what it is that makes people become victims. I think maybe it is just the timing when these things occur. Sometimes you escape from the vicious circle, sometimes you get trapped in it.
When I was 8 years old, there is this girl who was bigger than me and she was my friend or so I thought because being a shy, quiet girl, anyone speaking to me I assumed liked me and was my friend. We hanged out together a lot in school. One day, I was playing with her pen and I accidentally dropped it and I was certain it wasn't broken but she insisted it was and demanded that I pay for it. RM$50 for it. Back then, RM$50 was probably like RM$200. A whole lot of money. I realised later when I was older that that freaking pen was probably only a few dollars. She would harass me everyday. Until one day I did the worst thing a child would do. Steal money from their parent. I avoided her after that and would go home as fast as I could once school was over. Fortunately, we moved away soon after that. It helps being an army brat. You don't stick around too long.
As a parent I try to protect my children as best I could. I had no idea my youngest child was also bullied. She was small for her age. And a little slow in understanding what was going on in school compared to her elder siblings. I only saw this aspect so I send her for tuition and it had helped her a lot in her studies. As the years pass, she became a straight A student and went on to be a prefect in secondary school. This was when the bullying became worst. From no other person than the head prefect. By then my daughter has turned out into a very pretty girl. Beauty with brains. I think you know where this is leading. The head prefect was not and she would try to force my daughter to do things and my daughter would stand up for herself and for others who were bullied. It got really bad when the prefect found my daughter's blog and showed it to her mother and that mother in turn showed it to the principal. Unfortunately, my daughter had bitched about the prefect in her blog and her words were not exactly lady-like. Also unfortunate, those people were connected.
My daughter got suspended from school and that was went she went into depression and we had to seek medical help. We moved her to another school and thank God the administrations and teachers there were very supportive of her. By the time she left school a year later, she was their top student.
3 years later, my daughter has a semester left of college and she's still a top student and she achieved her ambition to be on the cover of a fashion magazine. She told me she wanted to stick her face in theirs. Hah what better way!
And the bully? Who cares!
What I'm saying is, victims of bullies need to have the support of their communities apart from their parents, families and friends. Children can be mean but when you're a young child, it can be very difficult to get over the scars. Too bad parents do not remind their children to be kind to others often enough because this is where it all starts in my opinion.
So to all bullies out there. Your parents did not do a good job raising you and I hope you will do a better job raising your own.